I found myself getting jostled out of my tent and sooner or later, I was in Lieutenant Roberts’ tent. He told to me that I had disobeyed the governor’s orders and I had left my post. He told me that he had no choice. He told me to get a goods night sleep and first thing at dawn I was getting flogged.
In the morning, me and Goodwin went to the triangle where I was going to get flogged. Just when Goodwin was about to give me a pep talk, Waruwi approached us, she was carrying a kangaroo skin. She gestured us to come towards her and Goodwin stopped me. He asked me if I wasn’t in enough trouble already yet I look in the skin of the kangaroo. Inside he could faintly see the small outline of a puppy.
Goodwin came and looked in as well, his frown slowly melted into a soft smile. Waruwi gave it to us and we took it to Roberts. He said it made no difference and that’s when Goodwin stoped him. He explained how a puppy was way better than training a full grown dog.
He thought about it for a minute and told me that I was lucky and I had to look after this puppy. I nodded and smiled.
My first star is that you wrote it all in past tense, I liked how you added a lot of detail too. I think that when you write your indirect speech you could maybe not use ‘he told me’ too many times.
I liked your grammar and punctuation. I also like the paragraphs you put in to categorise the events. One thing you could do better is check your spelling and don’t put too many “told’s” on the first paragraph.